A PAINFUL REFLECTION

Okay here’s the truth. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write about for this week’s entry. There isn't much interesting news other that the much talked about first ever F1 night race in Singapore this coming Sunday. Almost everyone has been talking about it much less reading about it. So what on earth can I put together that deserves a good reading?? I decided to flip through my midterm notes for this module and chanced upon our latest section for this chapter which is the Knapp model of interpersonal relationships. Let me just state that this is one of the most interesting chapters up to date as I could totally relate to the 10 stages and thus, did not take me long to RECALL them.

While typing this blog entry, I received an msn message from the ex asking how I am. It then got me recalling our past. The stages we went through that ended up in the terminating stage (stage 10-Terminating) of any relationship where our relationship was irreconcilable. There was no form of communication between us and I assume that led to my final decision. We had different ideas of communication and his verbal abuse often got in the way of my attempt toward a peaceful conversation. Whenever we got into a quarrel or a misunderstanding, he had his infamous phrase awaiting me, “I do not want to talk about it now.” (Stage 7-Circumscribing) If not now, when then? Because of our lack of communication skills there was a period of time when we both literally grew apart. I started to avoid him, to prevent myself from any more verbal abuse. (Stage 9-Avoiding) I guess after this stage, I realized that there was nothing left to salvage. Did i really want to be in an abusive relationship?

"And even furthermore I wonder why I'm still seeing him?"


It was not always tears and pain though. There was the initial dating ritual where we both got together after he initiated. He started making small talk to me whilst studying and we soon began to go out on dates. (Stage 1-Initiating) We did not have many things in common though but we still managed to keep it going, at least for a few years. He was a family orientated person and thus was able to mingle well with my family. To me, that is the most important factor in my relationships, is that they can get along well with my loved ones. His ability to mingle well with my family made me like him even more and our relationship grew to another level altogether. We started calling ourselves a couple and saw ourselves as a “unit” in the relationship. (Stage3 and 4-Intensifying and Integrating)
Like my lecturer mentioned, the order need not always be but what I do know is that in every relationship, these stages are almost always present.

SIMPLY IGNORANT?

In my car on the way home from church today, I heard a news about China’s milk products being recalled. I did not think anything of it until I came home to read the papers and then came into terms the seriousness of this matter. To think that after a warning, supermarkets and minimarts would comply after knowing that milk products from China were tainted with the chemical melamine. If that is not serious enough, what is? Jeopardizing customer’s health for the sake of wealth?

In the SUNDAY TIMES issue, an article entitled “China milk products still on shelves”, reporter from the SUNDAY TIMES itself, Tan Dawn Wei, found at least one minimart chain still selling Chinas milk products. http://www.pressdisplay.com/pressdisplay/viewer.aspx . I-Tech Supermarket continued to display Monmilk, Wall’s ice-cream and Dutch Lady strawberry milk, all of which contained the chemical melamine. This chain outlet obviously did not comply with the authorities. The most infuriating part of this to me was what he said when the reporter questioned his doing, supervisor Chong Nyuk Kim said “We’re just displaying them. We’re not selling them.”

Imagine. If just one minimart were to continue in its sale of contaminated products, the probability of other minimarts doing the same is equally high. How about the consumers? How about the mothers who are buying milk products for their new born infants? Or the children who save their pocket money all week to buy their favourite Wall’s ice-cream only to fall terribly ill to the situation.

Are people this ignorant these days? Or are they just plain old selfish? One act of ignorance or selfishness can cause a whole truckload of problems and danger to many, many, and many out there.

In another section of the SUNDAY TIMES, quotes from blogs shared my similar sentiments in this issue on Chinas milk products.

“As a consumer, there is only one thing you can do to protect yourself and your family: Look for the Made in China label on any product and refuse to buy it. Yes, it may be cheap but it, may also be dangerous and, in my eyes, dangerous is never truly cheap-for the price in health can be very high.” http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2008/09/chinese-products-danger-to-world.html

“A baby depends solely on milk in the first phase of its life. Can you imagine the irreversible damage done to its health?...How true it is when a parent says an apology or compensation will not get back the health of her baby!” http://myfortunekitty.com/?p=458

I guess even the most authoritative form of communication fail to work sometimes. In this case its the AVA.
Start being less ignorant, and together, we can help stop one less potential person from becoming seriously ill.

Just how much goes into 42 seconds?

What was all the hype about? I decided to check it out for myself, seeing that I had free tickets for the soon to be slowest half hour ride of my life-The Singapore Flyer. To my surprise, it was not as bad as I imagined. It was not bad at all! Apart from the ongoing construction, the experience on the flyer was very different. When the ride was almost over, they had a little treat for us. Model representations of the integrated resorts and the first ever casino to be built in Singapore had been showcased to give tourist a “sneak preview” of the future Singapore. That was it! That was the inspiration for my next entry!




The delluisional belief.


Initially, to me, the commercial above was just simply, a commercial. Just like all the thousands of other commercials that are being shown. It is either to convey a serious message like dengue and AIDS or promoting new products like diapers or a new type of milk brand, to future customers. It never occurred to me the complexity of thought processes that advertisers have to go through to come up with the end product, the commercial.


Take for example this particular commercial. There is a man who starts’ talking about how he knows what he is doing and how he can win “IT” all back. He then went on to talk about luck. This gives the viewers more clues as to where the advertisement is going. Could it be gambling? But who is he talking to? A non verbal form of communication is being used a little later on as he lifts his finger up showing the number one. He is asking for one more chance. But one more chance for what? A little girl is then shown looking all sad, holding assuming hers, piggy bank. This commercial leaves the audience curious to know what on earth he is talking about.


A personal nonverbal stimuli that was presented in this advertisement was the little girl. She uses body language to convey her message that she does not want to give up her hard earned savings for her dad to waste away on gambling. This type of nonverbal communication is known as kinesics where the study of body language is an indicator of the person’s message that he or she wishes to deliver. In addition both the father and the child used oculesics to regulate the flow of verbal communication through their eyes. The father eyes showed how desperate he was to borrow money from his young daughter for something as meaningless as gambling whereas the daughters eyes conveyed the message of sadness, pain, unwillingness and helplessness.
Although this advertisement was not that long, it was able to capture my attention because I always wanted to know what and why was he behaving the way he did and saying the things he said. I guess their job is quite difficult after all. They have to constantly think of what we, the audience want, who they are targeting at and how can they relate to us.


Such hard work for a mere forty two seconds!

DESTRUCTION OR SALVATION?

Britney Jean Spears, teenage pop princess or another failed artist from the 90’s. Come this weekend, an opportunity will present itself for this pop princess to debunk her critics while simultaneously lauding praise and garnering her entourage once again.

The MTV Video Music Awards has always been known for its outstanding and memorable performances. Good or bad, they are etched not only on film but in the minds of music lovers everywhere.

For Britney, last years’ debacle about her obvious attempt at lip-synching and limbless snake-like movements during her performance gave rise to much talk as to whether the pop princess has lost it. Her lack lustre performance gave much rise to criticism from the media and other professionals. This started her downward spiral which included her extensive use of drug-taking, her hard core partying ways, and worst of all, her lack of parental skills, all of which left her with almost nothing.

We all do something crazy in life, seems like she wants to do a GI Jane.


The turning point for her was when she lost the custody of her sons after a long and drawn out battle. To me, separating a mother from her child just because she is going through a hard time is taking extreme to a whole new level. But that's another topic for another day. I feel that she should be given a chance to prove herself as a mother. At least she’s beginning to realise what she needs to do.

If you ask me, she would have realised this much earlier if not for all the pounding from the media and the public. The constant judging, the finger pointing, the ridiculing only served to destroy an already fragile self-esteem. What made it worse was that all these came from strangers. There are times in a person’s life when she needs to realise the depths of her self-inflicted damage herself. All the ill effects or wrongly placed advice cloud the mind’s eye from realising this. Imagine the amount of pressure she must have felt. I know that they are just doing their job but all the incessant invading by the paparazzi, trying to get their pay check by taking the next scandalous shot, resulted in the further distortion of how the public viewed her. How could she have found any time to do some soul searching when everywhere she turned people where either predicting what bad things she would do next or trying to catch her doing those things? Nobody’s perfect, not even all those critics out there.

The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards will be an outlet for her to salvage her reputation as a pop idol, a mother and also bring back her fans. If she succeeds, she will become an icon to many ladies who have travelled down this similar road. Whatever it is, I hope her comeback will be as good a story as her fall from grace and bring her some salvation.

When life was just a box of chocolates