While typing this blog entry, I received an msn message from the ex asking how I am. It then got me recalling our past. The stages we went through that ended up in the terminating stage (stage 10-Terminating) of any relationship where our relationship was irreconcilable. There was no form of communication between us and I assume that led to my final decision. We had different ideas of communication and his verbal abuse often got in the way of my attempt toward a peaceful conversation. Whenever we got into a quarrel or a misunderstanding, he had his infamous phrase awaiting me, “I do not want to talk about it now.” (Stage 7-Circumscribing) If not now, when then? Because of our lack of communication skills there was a period of time when we both literally grew apart. I started to avoid him, to prevent myself from any more verbal abuse. (Stage 9-Avoiding) I guess after this stage, I realized that there was nothing left to salvage. Did i really want to be in an abusive relationship?

It was not always tears and pain though. There was the initial dating ritual where we both got together after he initiated. He started making small talk to me whilst studying and we soon began to go out on dates. (Stage 1-Initiating) We did not have many things in common though but we still managed to keep it going, at least for a few years. He was a family orientated person and thus was able to mingle well with my family. To me, that is the most important factor in my relationships, is that they can get along well with my loved ones. His ability to mingle well with my family made me like him even more and our relationship grew to another level altogether. We started calling ourselves a couple and saw ourselves as a “unit” in the relationship. (Stage3 and 4-Intensifying and Integrating)
Like my lecturer mentioned, the order need not always be but what I do know is that in every relationship, these stages are almost always present.